If you didn't have the distinct pleasure / opportunity / experience of meeting Donna Fay Auger, to say she was a one of a kind would be an understatement.
Jim and Donne had 3 kids. Their middle child, Anthony, has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. As a kid – a young kid – you rarely get to pick your friends for yourself. Instead, you get thrown into a Lego-filled cell with some random drooler whose mother was kind enough to watch you for a little while your mom took a much needed break. Or otherwise your mom just wanted to hang out with her friend for a little bit, SO FOR JUST ONE HOUR COULD YOU NOT HIT HER SON OR CHOKE ON A LEGO PIECE?!
I think my own scenario was some combination of those two, but regardless, I've always considered myself lucky that my parents set me up on playdates with a kid I could hang out with for some 27 years and counting.
However, it wasn't until Mrs. Auger's memorial service – as a small multitude of people came forward to share how she had impacted their lives – that I realized more fully how lucky I truly was that my parents routinely entrusted me to the Augers' care. Or, more accurately: how lucky I was to be adopted into their family.
I could go on for a long time about how Mrs. Auger (force)fed me, or how she picked me up from church/school/younameit when my own parents forgot me, or how she graciously traded me (and other kids) an hour in front of the TV playing video games for an hour in the garden pulling weeds. But I don't have the energy or real desire to do that. Instead, I’ll just say that what I do remember most is her beautiful smile and her infectious laughter. Both of which she could exchange IN AN INSTANT for that ominous look and that incriminating finger point if you were disobedient or disrespectful. She was nearly constantly cooking and gardening. Apart from occasional breaks to dole out some well-deserved punishment, her main escape was fishing. It really didn't matter which she was doing though – she was excellent at all of those things.
One other fact that sticks out in my memory is that I wasn't the only guest being fed / housed / clothed at the Auger's. Mrs. Auger nearly always had some neighborhood kid or friend or family member seated at the kitchen table, eating some delicious leftovers (my personal favorite was her broccoli casserole), as they talked about everything and nothing.
But it wasn't until I heard everyone else share their stories that I realized Mrs. Auger was more than just my friend's mom, or even my own mom's friend. She was certainly those things too, but she was, I think, someone who had a fierce love for those in need. It didn't matter if you were 8 or 80. If you entered her orbit, she was going to love on you and feed you. And possibly lecture you about respecting your elders, but maybe that was just me.
So, when I reflect back on what I know of Donna Fay Auger – from dinners, road trips, sleepovers, scoldings, hugs, lunches, laughs, and ALL the smiles – I realize that all along she had been teaching me – teaching us – what it really means to be a part of a family, part of a community. And if, like me, you were lucky enough to be adopted into Donna's and the Auger's family, you know that you have been blessed, indeed.
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| The Auger Family, ca. 1987. |
